Hello, My name is Victoria. I’m part of a team of psychotherapists, counsellors and psychologists working across the MSE. We are dedicated to supporting individuals with the emotional and psychological impact of cancer. We know from experience that the impact of a cancer diagnosis can start from the initial tests and investigations, through diagnosis, treatment and remains with us for some time after.
This video will give you an introduction to some of the tools that can be used to manage the impact of cancer.
The impact of diagnosis affects the individual and their family and friends. Some have shared with us common thoughts and themes. These include:
That diagnosis is like a tsunami of destruction, you’re then left surveying the devastation and wondering where to start the rebuilding process.
Clients also talk about a tidal wave of emotion…… Comes out of nowhere. One minute fine – and the next devastation.
A diagnosis of cancer is life changing, it is big and it is powerful – so we should expect our emotional response to this to be equally intense.
We may feel we want to push those emotions away, possibly even feel pressure to be composed and ‘strong’ but sometimes that can feel lonely.
Some have spoken about a feeling of being in a bubble - they can’t reach out, connect or engage. And others can’t reach in.
You might want to pause the video and consider, do any of these resonate?
No one can reach in and you can’t reach out.
I don’t want to lose my independence and freedom.
You no longer have the same perspective as other people, your life has changed and their life hasn’t.
Cancer is the exclusive club that no one wants to join.
I just want someone to listen to me, not tell me what they think I should do.
I feel like I can’t talk to my family or friends.
This last statement is often a concern that individuals have. Although friends and family are very supportive, when you are feeling low they are the last people you want to upset.
This is where counselling is very useful and different because it is a safe space to express ALL of it.
At the end of this video we will tell you about the range of support which is available should you want to talk to someone outside of your family. For now, we will focus on sharing three key things we know have helped our clients.
Self care.
Thought management.
STOPP.
Self-care is an often overused word and we can sometimes find ourselves raising our eyebrows at the suggestion that a ‘bit of self-care’ will solve it all.
Self-care is important. We define self-care as intentionally taking time out to invest in, and manage, our overall wellbeing. We are taking positive action to preserve or improve our health and wellbeing.
The first step, and often hardest, is to prioritise yourself and your needs. This applies to patients, carers and their families.
Prioritising our self-care can be hard as we live in a society where exhaustion and fatigue is seen as a badge of honour, a measure of worth even. It may be particularly hard for those individuals who have responsibility for caring for others – be it family members, at work – or simply part of how we value and define ourselves.
What helps many of us reflect on this lack of self-priority, including us counsellors, is to think of the oxygen mask principle.
If you’ve had the privilege of being on an aeroplane you will be familiar with the flight attendant talking through the safety procedures. They will tell you that if the oxygen masks drops down, you need to place your own mask on before helping others. The reason for this is simple, if you do not have enough oxygen, you will pass out and be unable to help anyone else.
Self-care is as important as this, you are no use to anyone else if you are not looking after yourself. This is often a real struggle when juggling a cancer diagnosis with all your usual responsibilities.
The most important thing about self-care is that you make time to consider what works - and what doesn’t - for you and actually do it.
Next we’re going to look at thought management.
One of the exercises we use regularly with our clients is STOPP. STOPP stands for:
- Stop.
- Take a breath.
- Observe.
- Perspective.
- Practice.
We can use this anytime we are feeling anxious or overwhelmed.
The first step is simply to stop. Pause in what you are doing. Take a few calm breaths, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. Consciously slowing your breath down. This serves to calm the nervous system and reengage the thinking part of our brain.
Next, Observe. What thoughts are going on through your mind? Where Is your attention focused? what are you reacting to? What’s going on in your body?
Perspective. Here we work on considering alternative thoughts to balance our concerns and worries. We may ask ourselves what is another way at looking at this situation? Am I considering all the options available to me, or have I got stuck on one? For example, am I stuck on what if it goes wrong? Have I given space to balance that thought with what if it all goes right? Consider are the thoughts you’re having facts or are they internal opinions that can be challenged?
The final step is to practice regularly the more we practice the more affective it is when we need to use it.
It sounds simple, almost too simple. Our clients however tell us it does work, and it has been useful for them.
If you find that this was useful, we also offer mindfulness.
If you are interested in finding out more on mindfulness you can visit our page to find other examples of mindful exercises which may find useful.
We also offer a mindfulness course for patients with a diagnosis of cancer. If you are interested in this, you can ask your clinician to refer you.
We hope that you have found our video useful.
We have Counselling and/or psychological teams in all of our three main locations – Basildon, Broomfield and Southend. The services offered include psychological therapies, mindfulness, anxiety management training and other workshops.
The services available may be slightly different based on where you live. If you would like to find out more you can speak with your Cancer Nurse Specialist (CNS) or Consultant. If you are a family member or carer, you can still ask to be referred or you can call our main switchboard numbers (found on the MSE websites) and ask them to put you through to the Counselling teams (Basildon or Southend) or Psychological therapies team (Broomfield).
